So many little things in life, so little joy

Merry Thanksgiving!

Ah. That was two days past. Srry bout that. I was at my grandma's house stuffing crap up a turkey's ass and then eating it 3 hours later. Lovely, eh? I didnt like it one bit. We stayed over so we could wake up at 5 in the morning to go shopping yesterday. NOT. FUN. AT. ALL. Cept for the part where I (finally) got some new clothes. I've outgrown mines by several years and when I go to a new school next year, I dont want to have the rattiest clothes on the block. -sigh- my stalkee/ no longer stalkee is going to another school. Ah well. I gave up a HELLA long time ago. But im still gonna give him the letter.

Oh? I didnt tell you about the letter? Silly me. I made a confession letter. with pupouri inside, because its a year old. ... yea. If I can ever make my life more awkward, its by doing this. But if I dont try, my life may not be complete and there will always be that little bit of heart that I dont have because of this. THIS MAY RUIN MY LIFE OR IT MAY BETTER IT. Either way its fine, its just preparations. Preparation for the real world, somewhere, out there. Im going to go to a different city. Cry about different things, laugh about different things, and PMS my head off. ah~ That would be bliss. ^_^ and I will never have to worry about my weirdo fwends again. NO OFFENSE BUT YOU GUYS HAVE NO DESCRIPTION. srsly. XD

HAPPY B-DAY ASHTON. I must go email him. A happy ___ birthday. Matt, if you're reading this, pat him on the head for me the next time you see him. I should take more pics at school. Srsly.

BTW: did i tell you?
-I'm in the same group as 3 guys for the vaca proj.
-I'm in the same gorup as 3 guys mentioned in this blog.
-My leg hurts from yesterday's mad shopping spree.
-My face. hurts. xD
-I'm in the same group as Matt, Rayne, and Mike. SHITTT.
Yes. Very much sh*t. As matt had reminded me the other day:

Matt: You do know you're the only girl in our group, right?
Me: Yea, sure.
My brain: FRAP. FRIPITY FRAP. Blood FRAP!!! Im going to get and A. An A. An A. Hopefully. Hope. NOOOO.
Me: Whose house is it stationed at?
Matt: ....-no response-
Me: -walks away-
My mind: They'd better not kick me out. Im like the person who cant do crap. XD

A+ student + daughter of a contractor/ idk+ girly decorgirl= cantdoanything.

O_O SHEEEEET. Oh well, they cant kill me nao. Im in my house. Safe.

CREEPY STALKERS!

You cant kick me out that easily.

Mwah meanies.

Happy B-day ASHTON~

Julietissoawesome pineapple.

UR FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah. Im not a FRIGGIN MANGA CHARACTER!

Even though our teachers think that I look like one. I dress like one, maybe. The hair, maybe.

When you start to dress like one of your teachers, you know that your fashion coincedence is just BLARGH. Today was an EPIC day. I brought my EPIC umbrella and my EPIC boots and tried to play guitar EPICly. But it was just an EPIC fail:

Such epic fail.

Agu. Melon, Squishi, Trent stayed with me in our awesome corner! Liza had to leave early. Luki liza. Puhi. I started until like friggin 4:30 and it was dark and about to rain.

Its raining ryt now btw which calls for a change of font color.

I like rain. It smells good.

Now. Back to font no. 1. HOW I WISH I WERE A MANGA CHARACTER! >.<>

her: Vicki! Who are you going to the winter ball with?

me: No one.

her: ooh *insincerely*, being single is good too.

me: "WHY DONT YOU TRY SAYING DAT WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE ME AND SUFFER WITH MY PERSONA BETCH!" thought me.

her: I think that there will be a lot of single guys there

me: mah. All of the cute ones with personality are taken.

her: Dont worry about it.

me: I havent even gotten a dress.

her: Well, Friday is a good day to shop~

me: "say that when you havent gotten a dress OR a date!" thought me.

me: I see.

her: you know, you dont need a date to enjoy the winter ball. What are you running for?

me: Queen, most likely.

her: Ah. *half scoffs* Thats erm... good.

my mind: "BIOTCH, YOU BETTER TAKE THAT HALF SCOFF BACK!"

me: Perseverance is the key!

her: okay.

me: -moves away in a scurry of mental rage-

I can only control my temper for so long. If it werent for her, I might have landed my dream guy. BUT NO. My existance exists ephermally under her freakin shadow. I am going to go to a gym and work my ass off and kick her's. MYUGU! AHHHH! She pisses me off. Seriously.

Hw is gonna wait so:

1st per: I danced. woot...

2nd per: FIRE DRILL.

Break: Chatted.

3rd per: got stressed OUT.

4th per: too pissed, dont even ask.

Lunch: TO LIYERI'S TO STUDY! With matt and um... didnt give a name to her yet.

5th per: Yay... Im in a group with matt and mike and cameron... possibly... and i might have to go to their houses... >.> MATT SOO LIKES RIA. I saw it in his face. He blushed sooo furiously. I was like ^_^ HOW CUTE! I would match-make dem since -hem- ria liked him b4 -hem-. That would make the cutest couple ever. Eber. And cameron was all -starestare- at matt since they are inseperable best buds. Cameron looks kinda like a stalker under flourescent lighting. Lemme see if I can fish out a pic of them for you...

OMG. They look sooo bad. ... Nvm. They always look bad.

The one on the left is Griffin/Matt/ Oliver. The one on the right is Cameron/ Ashton.

OH MY GAWSH. Bwahahahaha! Lmao. They look soooo bad. I swear. SO BAD.

I knew my taking pics of REALLY awkward moments would come in handy. xD

Che. They blinked too. I hate my phone. Srsly.

6th per: Goldberg proj.

>.>

Afterschool:

EPIC FLUTE: MELON

EPIC GUITAR: TRENT

EPIC CASHEW: SQUSHI

OFF KEY SINGING: Me. xD

Melon drews me... aged a bit. Awesome lemon book.

-yawn-

Im tired so...nyt pyon~

-Juliet VanSchulear.

I ish FORGIVENS?!

>.>
Didnt see dat one coming.







>.> um....




UM.


Onto something else?
24 Redemption premeires today and imma watch it after I actually do my hw. So mush TV to catch up on, so little weekend to finish. I bet liyeri is gonna give us a crapload of hw to finish for thanksgiving. TO THE TURKEY STORE! and I must go buy presents for christmas. Tasteful ones. hopefully.

Mya?

Wicked! The musical.

Im reading the book.

Poor Juliet.

um.

Um. We also got our nails done with little picture of ourselves on our nails. >.> this might make her more pissed at me.

Gyabo. Twilight causes a lot of probs.

argh!!!!!!!!!
MLAHHH!!!!
First, I forgot all of my science definitions at home
next this:
Sammy is not going to forgive me for the twilight thing. (>.> and btw sammy, if ur reading this...um.... um..... >.>) Argh. I never go to the movies cause this ALWAYS happens. History always loves to repeat itself. THANKS FOR BEING A RETARD HISTORY!

Last time I went to the movies with my friends, I went with someone else and it got another person pissed off and the person that was pissed off started exaggerating everything and slaughtered my reputation. ONE OF THE REASONS I LIKED MOVING. I hated her for the rest of my life after that. I trust Sammy not to kill me, but not really. Everyone has that tiny part of them that tells them to send the person who betrayed them to hell. Heck, even I did that. On my crying birthday, while everyone else was gone, I cut my hand and promised NEVER TO FORGET IT. Though this isnt probably as severe as -hem- having your heart cut out and thrown onto the floor and have the person that you thought you liked/loved bury it without a coffin and dance on your grave, its probably REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD.

Hopefully, this may pass and I may not have to block it out. My memory blocks out traumas that I have so that I wont recall them when mentally scrolling for stuff like phone numbers or who the 36th president was. This may be one of the times my brain totally blows it out of porportion and I will remember it that way. Well, this sucks. Tell my conscience I hate it and that I would kill it had I had a choice. But I get stuck with the worst possible conscience ever; ie. the one that is connected to my memory and if I REALLY killed my conscience for half a second, you all would be dead and buried.

If I ever lie, I get the shorter end of the stick. The times I go against my conscience, I get into crappy trouble. So, who is the one more hurt? Probably me, if Sammy NEVER FORGIVES ME FOR THIS. Its the way of life. Why did I go with the other group in the first place?

1. Shopping
2. NO GUYS WHAT-SO-EVER.
3. No awkward conversations.
4. NO REPEATS OF 7th GRADE.

What happened in 7th grade?
1. I went to Europe
2. I got my heart broken
3. I got Vera to semi-hate me
4. I got A LOT of people to hate me.

Im actually happy this ever happened. No one is 100% good. Or else it would show. This is what happens in life. If this never happened to anyone, then life would be a very boring experience wouldnt it? I mean, being like that and all. Monotonousity breeds the unkept. A preparation for high school. Better sooner than later. Ah. I remember now. It was in 3rd grade and the last day she ever talked to me. She was crying and told me that she hated me and that she never wanted to see me again. Then again, she never did. She moved the next year. history always repeats itself. a second chance at redemption? Let's leave it at that.

my philoshiphy?

I dont like life. It's boring.

Of all the billions of people in this world, I had to be this one

99.9% evil.

100% unwillingly living.

Go dig a grave and I'll jump into it

-Envy. Midnight.

Twilight.

We wents to see twilight yesterday. Honestly. JASPER WAS CUTE. I wanted to eat him there and then. The movie was eh. DID YOU SEE STEPHANIE MEYER AT THE CAFE THING. IT WAS AWESOME. SHE WAS TYPING ON HER LAPTOP IN THE MOVIE!!!

I went with tangerine (erm. okies.), ria, lucia (lets just keep her name the way it is because its awesomer that way), and julia. We were watching the movie and giggling in awesomeness. XD
It was like 1 pm and no we didnt ditch to go see twilight. We just got out early on a coincidence. And quite a coincedence it was. We went shopping for a long arse time after that. We got our nails done, starbucks, and we even saw bradley and whats-his-face. No, Im not that good at remembering names. We went to 21 and tried on all of these FAAAAbulous clothes. We basically ran around and shopped for a few hours.
>.> I WOULD HAVE GONE WITH SAMMY BUT I DIDNT HAVE HER PHONE NUMBAR SO I COULDNT CALL HER AFTERWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mya. We slid down stairs and stuff and we threw roses. This is why I love living here. Imma go read books.mleh. CIAO!~

agu.

Its JEMVVS

erm : Juliet Envy Midnight Victoria VanSchulear.

Im REALLY sorry about the twilight thing SAMMY!!!

T.T

Another Guest ~ YAYS!

"Liza": Bish Vicki! 'Yayz' is spelt wit teh "Z"!!!

Duh. >.>

Vicki: Meshos didnt know. If you havent figured by now, it's liza~ You go ahead. BLAH. These keyboards suck.

"Liza": I have a cousin named Liza ^_^

Vicki: See... IM FREAKIN PHYSCIC!


"Liza": Psh. Whatevs. -rollseyes- I HATE THESE DAMNED KEYBOARDS< FRICK! I"M SO BORED I"M A DAMNED KEYBORED... Whoa. That kinda came out wrong, right, Miss. Cki of teh Vi?

Mattt (oliver, FRIDGE IT. I'll change it later):

Vicki: Frickin oliver/matt! He tried to close the pineapple!

"Liza": Lawl. I beat him up and harass him when he pisses me off. ^_^ -is sadistic- 8-D preety colors!!! btw, for all you pervs, 8-D is a FACE... I know what you're thinking, I've seen it before. DO NOT GET CONFUSED WITH THIS: 8====D Ok. Bye!~

Vicki: ... PERV! SUPER FREAKING PERV.jdasfdhjsaklgjvc

"Liza": Yeah? I just came from sex ed. Can't blame me -- Don't judge. ^_~

Vicki: O.O SEX ED WAS LAST YEAR... Youre like melon....

"Liza": Have you realized that 'melon' rearranged is 'lemon'? Maybe that's where she gets it frum!!!!

Vicki: Stupid. She told me. You guys were being all emo yestarday. I wish I could have brought more chex mix! THey say chex is spelled wrong.


"Liza": Technically, 'chex' is NOT a word. And exkahyooszesz mwaahhh?! WE PREFER TO BE CALLED EPIC LONERS!!! Jheezles, what's wrong with peoplez?! Ya, I jhuz toadly said 'Jheezlesz'

Vicki: Mya! I didnt know! Stupid Matt/Oliver is reading my blog! HE MEMORIZED MY EMAIL TOO. STALKER!!

"Liza": THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!

Vicki: >.> Liza, decide. Oliver or Matt. Or shall we ask him?

"Liza": Naw, let's just call him Griffin like the demons of hell are telling us too. :o .o. o: 'o' ^_^ Teehee... wanna hugglesz?! o=(-^_^-)=o

We mush go nao. Lets call him gi=wiffin.

kaykayez! Baiii

the cogwheels of fate...slowly begin to turn.

and life has began to progess...



7:28 AM - ran into HR.

1st per-

Today I got to run with the fast people... 2 miles instead of the usual one. They are seriously really fast. I cant take the hill head on! I have to walk or I die. I didnt eat anything and I barely got any friggin sleep! Ahhh~! And Matt (argh, must come up with a better name! hmm... jake? edward? pft. he's no edward, though ...NAH. He's not a gentleman, he's a geek/jock. Calvin? XD no. though he does look like it. Lewis? too...um... old dood-ish. Aaron... NO. WAY. IN. SDIOUFNDOSFJKSDLFds. Benji makes sense... but... no. He was born in LA, ryt? Brandon. nope, that his twin that I knew from long ago... AW DAMMIT! Let's go with edward (as crazy as it sounds... nlah. I'll change it later. I JUST DONT LIKE SOME OF THESE NAMES!). Edward... damnit no! HE ISH NOW BENJI! No. WAIT! Oliver! Ha! little oliver. It makes him sound cute, but whatever. I guess then Ashton could be cameron... not diaz, just cameron. so yea.



okay so:

Matt= Oliver & Ashton= Cameron

MATT => OLIVER. ASHTON=> CAMERON.
WAIT. =_= i remember something about the name oliver... BUT I CANT REMEMBER IT!!! AGH! It'll come back 2morrow

Got it? Good.

2nd- Holeh crap! Liyeri isnt here?! Aww. We couldnt show off our awesomeness to her and how her geometry class is CORRUPTING OUR MINDS! Btw: SHETLOAD OF HW!

3rd- Um... WTF. I was told I had the highest grade and I was like "wha????" and everyone was like *glare* and im like *shrinks back into chair*. Um... I do better in history than in math. I like being a nerd now. I beat Oliver (lolz. Oliver Queen. Ah~ Smallville. HE DOES LOOK LIKE HIM THOUGH. In maybe 30 years...) in science! What a triumph~ Im not ni-ju nee-san (holeh snap. How do you spell it!?) anymore. Im awesome that way. I beat the super nerd! DOES THAT MAKE ME A SUPER NERD?! Nah. The squishi clan exempts me from dat.

What ish teh squishi clan? The squishi clan is a group made of us awesome people who are awesome and you know it cause yea. We do jumping jacks at random cars, run around in circles, play instruments while singing random songs, and we watch Liza and Trent be all lovey-dovey. (Again, I cant wait until we can go to high school.) It ish mad eup of Squishi (yesh, she wants to be called dat), Melon, Pineapple (me!), Liza, Trent, and sorta Diana. THIS TOTALLY VARIES FROM THE OGS.

4th per- TEAM BONDING DAY!

We got to play football which was pretty fun. I missed a couple (by a couple, I mean a whole lot) of passes. (Hello? I dont play football, I WATCH IT AND MAKE FUN OF IT.) It was fun because at the end, we were all sweaty and tackling each other to get the ball. Some people quit so we played keep away. We are awesome.

5th per- HAHA! We ish done recording for the imovie! Idiot Cameron (formerly Ashton) and Oliver were playing chess and I was like "Cameron is gonna win!" and he lost. And I was totally like =_=. Since cameron and oliver are supergeeks, they finished faster than we did. They picked the same subject as us too. We just need to tweak our pics and effects and add slides and we ish done.

6th per- Science is AWESOME. Mike made a mistake that kept us laughing for the whole period. Claire: Why do you have a pencil in your mouth?

Mike: I like putting things in my mouth.

Friggin LMAO. And Brandi was describing -hem- um... lets call it bodily fluids. AND WE WERE LAUGHING OUR FRIGGIN BUTTS OFF BECAUSE OLIVER WAS LIKE GETTING THE JOKE, BUT LOOKED SO FRIGGIN SERIOUS. He looked my way and was like "Vicki?"

and I was choking. xD

Nutrition was spent freaking out about the load of geometry hw that I am still doing. Im on break dammit! ^_^ Oliver and Cameron asked me why the hell I stayed up so late. I shrugged. It was a nice question. WHY DO I STAY UP THIS LATE?! Idk.

At lunch, I ate crap.

After school, I hung out with the squishi clan until I had to help leadership with Student-led conference. I got to pass out fliers. It was sorta fun.

Dood. I had the weirdest dream. I was on the phone talking to Jasmin (which I would probably never do...) about the flies that invaded my room. Oliver was there too. HOW THE HELL DOES HE MANAGE TO WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT EVERY FRIGGIN TIME WE GET TO SEE HIM IN REGULAR CLOTHES?! I actually have the same polo shirt... girl version. So all I have to do to match his outfit was to put on jeans and the shirt. He never wears a jacket for some amazing reason. How is he never cold? I bet it's that aura of idiocism. Imma start using that word. Its THE FRIGGIN TITLE ANYWAYS. Anyways, in my dream, they came over to my house and I was eaten by flies. ANd I WAS IN VERMONT THEN SOUTH CARONLINA? That was the weirdest thing. seriously. Argh. I have to finish a shet load of hw in an hour. <3>

TWILIGHT.

11.21.08 <3

Be there.

Im going so...

ha.

Luv y'alls.

-Juliet Midnight Victoria VanSchulear.

Why rant? Because...

ARGH. I hate her soooo much.
E has too much sarcasm in every flucking inch of her friggin persona. I would seriously tell her to shut the hell up, though I already did. Shes a flucking hypocrite! Psh, winter ball. Girl, youre not going to fit into that dress. I mean I was friends with her in first year. SHES NOW LIKE THE MEAN FLIRT. I am going to be the person who jumps her, I swear. I can hear my blood vessel popping in my head. Seriously E, GET A FRIGGIN LIFE. Ugh. She hangs out with us every day even though she knows she doesnt want to. Go find what-the-hell-her-name-is that what's-his-face is oggling. Dood. Seriously. When I get to the winter ball, I will be clad in leather and so friggin biker chick-ish that I can kick your asses with the amount of spunk I have stored in my hair. She, I bet, is going to stray from her date. Ugh. I have no date, so Imma just go and hang out with my rose in my hair and a sign that says STFU. Gawsh, people are such people.

Anyways, on another subject, Rayne and Ashton dont hang out with us anymore. Though they are fun... I miss them. Matt... not so much.

In 6th, Matt became part of our team. Bwahaha! Its a sure perfect. Though we missed like 1 question, BECAUSE MATT WAS BEING A SMARTASS AND GIVING US THE WRONG ANSWERS. He is a nerd.

That reminds me, I havent described how people look...
Ashton: Male. Classic semi-dork. 5"3-ish (how the hell is that possible?! He grew so effing much), sorta brownish hair (-hem- chlorine -hem-). The weirdest thing is that he has really PRETTY EYES. I mean not in like a weird sense, but THEYRE REALLY PRETTY! >. < I mean, seriously. The dude has pretty eyes.

Rayne: Male 5"5 -ish Braces, zits, facial hair (un kept btw. EW.), and according to christine, HE HAS ABS?! WTF. Oh, btw, he threw milk all over Melon's sweater (we had a switch of sweatars today.) And erm, greasy black hair EW.

Matt:Male. one word: NERD. Braces, freckles (faint ones), but he's friggin tall. 5"8?! CRAP!!! Im only like 5" so im like LOSING HEIGHT WISE. EVERYONE IS TALLER. He has THE WORST HAIRCUT. I should send pictures of how bad he looks with his hair. ARGH. It pisses me off that he has the perfect hair color (THAT I SERIOUSLY WANT IN HIGHLIGHTS) but his haircut tootally kills it. I mean OMG. (He talks in nerd-speak and eavesdrops too.) Parrot.

Me: Female (no shet sherlock.) 5" black hair, glasses, skinner than angelina jolie (HA! take that!), zit-less (amazingly), and my smile would kill the world. My laugh comes out as a neigh and my giggle comes out as a screech so... yea...

Melon: Female 5"2-ish. THE CUTEST HAIR. So fun to play with. So very fun. So glasses, blemish-less, and has a pink backpack! Tied up hair.

Rhen: Female: 4"9, rimless glasses, tied up hair, and she looks like her sister's twin!!!

Sammy: Female: I dont really remember how tall she is... Let down hair, wavy. Emmm.... ERM... not really a distinctive person look-wise... NO OFFENSE but... yea. Erm. Red backpack? TWILIGHT SWEATER!

Christine: Female: ... shorter than me? Straight black hair.

Analie: Female: 5"2-ish. Glasses (kekekeke.) and let down layered hair. Always with the brand names...

Diana: Female. 5"3-ish.da;lm fsdamlfoka

I GOT TIRED OF TYPING DAMMIT. I'll finish it latar...

Today was just an ordinary day. Though I am about to tell you a secret no one else must know about.

are you ready?























































































































































































i like a guy named










































































































































































































idk. I'm bored. I just like playing with ur brains.


fufufufufufu~
I gotta start hw. Ciao~

The Pineapple

Putting idiotcism down in the dictionary

Since 2008.

This is Juliet Midnight Victoria VanSchulear,

Signing off~

Meh.

I just woke up from this nap and this dream which was really weird though it doesnt make sense and I cant remember it. I got enough sleep though, which is more than I can say for you guys. Argh. I need to do all of my hw so... here is my piece of advice for the day

"Never will a guy ever hold your hand. Not today anyways. Men today are immature. The lovers hand holding is obselete. No one WANTS to hold hands. Hey, we're still young. They dont commit to long term relationships."

My eye was twitching the other day and I was uber-depressed at the fact that people would not simply shut up. Gawd. All of their voices annoy me sooo much. They're like little parrots, but enough about the parrots. I have a list of what's due today and what I need to copy into a notebook or else I will be screwed. I dont like my life. yea... on something that all of you dont really wanna know but not really should either but I'll say it anyways though it will piss her off ENORMOUSLY >.> Analie's barbie doll wants ..... yea. so ... nooo. I MEAN WE'RE ONLY SO FRIGGING YOUNG. For gawd's sake, we dont need you more hormonal analie!

We dont really need another post about this but EYELINER DOOD IS BACK! xD I am so carrying some tommorow so we can put eyeliner on him. He is ADORABLE, in a little depressed brother sorta way. He IS more depressing than me. SERIOUSLY. Depressing. Very. Lame.

Ashton is back from his million year trip to Michigan. Water polo? I thinkth not. Or maybe so. But I bet it was bogus cause they got 7th place. I feel sorry for him and his team.

Matt is back to his uncheery glaring self. He was at a NATIONAL CONFERENCE that I was supposed to go to too, but IM NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO SPEND THAT MUCH MONEY TO GO ON A PLANE SOMEWHERE ELSE IN CALIFORNIA. I would smack his face, but then that would ruin his pretty boy face. Aw the hell with it. *slaps matt* Matt, you have been virtually smacked in the face.

Mike is a dork. A super nerd. HE IS A SKATER NERD. Is that even a possible combo? Skater nerd? Whatever. He acted all depressed when he didnt get the job for 6th and I was all like "*sigh* There's always next time." and he's all like "WHYYY??!!!!" and Im like (in my mind) "Chill doood. Its just one, there are plenty more."

The lockers smell like period btw. Ew. Yea. PERIOD. Its sooo gross and sick and gross. I could have thrown up, but I didnt and everyone was screaming " Who left their f*cking pad here?!" It smelt really bad.

Rayne, thinks that I am a virus cause I spam him with IMs every two seconds. Its my job to spam you dood. I spam everyone.

Btw did I tell you?
I got tickets to the WINTER BALL. So I will keep spying on people. Watch out people~

Twilight is coming out too so Imma watch it with Sammie and Maddie~ that is weird, but I like it.

I LOVED ROBERT PATTINSON B4 TWIGHT CAME OUT.

Cedward = FTW.

My life 1/2 crap and 1/2 made up.

I'll see in hell tommorow b*tches. Or rather today.

I keep changing my name

but it's actually one whole name:

-Juliet Midnight Victoria VanSchulear

Currently known as: the immortal pinapple.

WTF? What happened to my font?

IT TURNED PURPAL.
o.o;
AgU~ Im so tired and I have hw to do and tests to cram for.
So this post is gonna be shorter than most of dem.

Onto the subject of reality. I dont like it. Because in reality, cute guys with lovely cheekbones do not fall randomly from the sky. Nor do magical sheep. Boys who fit the description of MY TYPE do not exist. I get to live in Los Angeles where guys with lovely hair murder my spirit and glare at me like they have never known me their whole life. No one's heart goes "doki~" or "ba-dum~" because if they did, then my life would never be silent. In real life, vampires have skin diseases and live in hospitals. In real life, my prince is a retarded jackass that I have given up on. In real life, I'm not really that strong. In real life, I'm not really that funny. In real life, I'm not that pretty because in real life, reality happens. It rips apart all of your dreams and says "Here, this is what really happens and this is what you can do". In real life, I can never move to New York city to be a designer. In reality, I cant have a fairytale love. In real life I cant be Hibino, Hikaru, Megumi, Bella, Lydia, or Yuuki; I can only be myself, dwelling upon the rest of reality with fangs beared and resentment only towards the limits of the truth.

In real life, I never wanted to go with a bunch of random strangers to a place I had never know. In real life, I never wanted to bring my jacket that day. In real life, I never wanted him to see me cry. In real life, I never wanted to smile. In real life, I never wanted to be this fragile. In real life I never wanted to let my guard down. In real life, I never wanted to be called grandma and him grandpa. I never wanted to laugh at myself. I never wanted to be a crybaby. I never intended to piss him off. I never intended to be like that on my birthday. I never wanted to be alone, all alone. I never intended to sit on the sidewalk on a rainy day, alone. In real life, I never wanted to fall in love, but I did... and I never ever will again. This is the last time I will stare reality in the face, before I run away. Too long have I stayed. Too far I have strayed from the path that I was walking the other day. The dirt road paved by the sea and I cried from the beauty and the overwhelming reality that was prepared. I promise to keep my tears silent and curse my unrequited feelings for what they are. A mirage, an illusion. I promise to never let my guard down again and let myself be free. I promise, my dream will slowly wither starting today, because this dream has no more feeling and this is my reality.

Envy the heartless

Pity the cold

Love the cantabile

of neverending monotony

Envy me.

Envy.Midnight.

I guess I have to start posting deeep crud again.

-sigh-
Here you catch me again without a single thing to write about. No inspiration what-so-ever. I dont want to do my homework so Imma just i guess erm...poet for a bit.

Sparkling wonders that befall us in the day of blood and tears,
heed the warning of those who know better and less
heed the warning of the ignorant and close your eyes once more
for your beauty is deranged
Evolving through the vail in which love and hope is trapped
and entwined in the cobweb that is the journey of life
Leaping over the obstacles and the small things that may befall
Watch yourself...
because the little things that matter never seem to when they do
Dancing around the edge of irony
to lose one step is fatality and the world begins to turn
Spinning the thread of fate by your own hands
Blindly, wildly, spinning the thread of life
Lose the ties which bind thee to illusion and happiness
for there is no true joy in life, but rest
Rest your sorrow for a moment and you will find emptiness
Empty your heart and your soul to find nothingness and you will understand
Understand nothing, but everything
Everything is nothing and nothing is everything and life is never eternal
All it takes is one step off of the edge and the definite life is infinate
Trot on top of the balance beam, to cartwheel and trick gravity itself
spin, turn, and leap through air
as if to tease the meaning of what it means.
walk along the crowded road on the balanced bridge
and kiss the iron with your feet
sit on the edge and taste the breeze with your eyes
and breathe with your soul one last time
turn around, looking back, even though it is against the rules
Laugh and pity them
Watch their minds deteriorate and watch the puppets dance to the tune
the tune of monotousity
The piety of one is only the piety of this knowledge
Shed one tear and lay back, for it is easier that way
Observe the world that is and shall never be the eutopia imagined
Imagine their faces as the wind cradles you one last time and you know it is now
Take the jeweled tear and remember it,for this is your last memory
And then, dark. nothing. everlasting nothing. the. END.

Isnt I awesome!? That I came up with in a second!~ My poems are not really that good, but they're not that BAD either. This is my poem. Guess what it's titled.

Balance Beam

This is Envy~

Signing off.

<3>

And yet you still are not gone yet? Fine.

I would like to cordially invite you to get the hell out of this blog.
Im going to start making this blog private because I cant let anyone see my face. Or me. Its my life. Get the hell out. Its hard enough trying to be something Im not. This blog is my real life. I dont want you to talk to me about it in public. I dont like my life. I really dont. I despise it. I despise every single fact of it. Its my horrible life, so kindly do not speak of it. I dont like it, though I cant quit it, because if I quit, my universe quits and my ego doesnt let my universe quit on account of my personality. I dont like my personality, because my personality is actually really, really horrible. If you have not noticed that. YOU ARE A RETARD AND SHOULD GO JUMP OUT A WINDOW SOMEWHERE AND GO HOME.

Anyways, this blog is for the people who can actually appreciate the less deepened Vicki. If I am me, the n you are you and this is a message from me to you: If you came here to understand my life, get the hell out, because this is just a bundle of emotions that I leave for people to view. Its not like by random chance, someone is going to stumble across this blog and actually read it. You read it because you know me in real life and you have no idea who I am. I dont want you to know who I am, because if you do, I will have no choice but to actually kick ur ass. I say it, not because I mean it, but because I DONT LIKE YOU. That is unconditional. I can hate you all for very, very many reasons. There are very few people in the world that I truly love. You are not one of them so I give you this oppurtunity to shut the hell up and get the hell out. I broke my personality last year, so I dont like you and you and you. Mean? No, I just don't like the fact that you guys actually read my blog. I just dislike the whole factor of this system. Thats why im going to shut down the immortal pineapple. I dislike you. I dont like me. Thats why, in a few days, this blog will be DELETED. So if you are still reading, here's an update on my life. I dont want to post gossip anymore because gossip makes me hate society even more. Vicki's translation of language: anti- GOSSIP= FUCK OFF SOCIETY(this is the message I want to convey). In a few years, Imma look back at this and say "I was such a lunatic, GAWSH." and then imma remember the faces of people who read this, and then I will be semi-suicidal. Why? Because you all have that little voice in your head that tells you to be a bish. The pineapple may return as another fruit. Someday.

The fact that I dont fit in here doesnt really make sense to me at all, but it drives my hate of society even deeper. I am the person you come to and ditch at random times of the day and I have actually been a good friend and I have stuck with you until you leave. What do I get in return? Not even an acknowledgement of existance. If you dont like me, fine. Leave me alone and kindly leave my blog too. I am going to be as hormonal and bitchy as possible because in two days, I'm not going to be like this. ARGH! aklgjavopsmaklsdajfdska.

Flacckkk




Fluckers. ....






















If youre still reading this, you're a good friend. Thats why I hate you.

Now for some blogging to catch up to...
Updates:

Nov 4, 2008: As you know, I am as freakin political as hell and I voted OBAMA. You John McCain suppporters can kiss my ass~ And we won. At the mock election we held, we still won! I was doing hw and refreshing my homepage, but yea, I still got the same results. McCain was like a sure loss. He never stood a chance.

Nov 5, 2008: Oh shit. HISTORY TEST. Dammmnn it. I took a lot of notes and thank gawd for that or I wouldve been SCREWED. I need to add more notes or I am dead... I dont like my life. I really dont. We have sooo much crap to do. Research on the dust bowl for the documentary. UGH! THERES TOO MUCH HW!~

Nov 6, 2008: I think I actually passed the history test. Im still stretched way too thin. I dont like my ego. It forces me to be the BEST I CAN BE and thats like... NOT VERY GOOD. Im getting stressed OUT! I think I'm losing hair. I dont like E. I dont like her at all. She is a total....agh! I cant even say it in words! SHES A SUPER FLACKING HYPOCRITE WHO DOESNT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT PEOPLE! DISCRIMINATINGEU*(PUHJ@IK#LJFDSJ! I cant say anymore. I just hate her. I use half of my energy to keep myself from socking her in the face point blank. I will. I will seriously smack her face one day. =_= I hate her sooo much that I could break my room because I hate her so much. I really dont like her. I hate her. I DONT FEEL SORRY FOR HER. I DONT CARE. Honestly.

Nov 7, 2008: Yays, CABEZAS ISNT HERE WHICH MEANS WE .... awwww.... we had to do a current event thingy that took me like hours and I didnt give a crap. I dont like Christine or E. They piss me off for some reason. I just dont like their personalities. THEY ARE TRANSPARENT FREAKS. No offense, but I mean offense. I dont like them. They seem so innocent and caring, but they're not. It just makes me want to puke. They dont even go out of their social circle. They use me as a person to drag around if they feel like a loner. THEY SHOULD BE. I dont care what they say about my life. They have guys dancing on the palm of their hands so I say. FUUUCCKKK OOFFF BETCHES~~~! I want to seriously smack their faces.

Nov. 8, 2008: Shoot~ Library, central. Melon couldnt make it to the central branch of the LAPL which is such a shame cause its so prettiful. Even though it was like 3 pm when I went. There was a couple making out (gag). I dont know where it stems from, BUT I HATE PDA. GET A FRIGGIN ROOM WEIRDOS! Anyways, I ran around looking for books on the dust bowl. It smelt like library. I got like 10 books when I ran down to get coffee and read. I was just like, there. Everyone was staring at this short person drinking coffee and enjoying a book on people's misery. I shot them a "what the hell are you lookin at?" look and they shot me a "oops, sorry" look. It was about 6 pm when I had to leave. TOMMOROW: I get to meet celebs. Overrated, but its fun cause Rhen and Karrie and Sammy are gonna be there!

Nov 9, 2008: OMG. HOMG. FRIGGIN OMG. I got Dustin Hoffman to sign my hand. With a sharpie from the tiny paps. One of them looked hawt... nvm, thats just perved. There were actually a bunch of cute guys there though. ON THE RED CARPET! We were there too! Rhen and Karrie along with me and my lil bro, bought 2 gigantic cookies from Kelly's and we ates them while we looked at hello kitty stuff at the Sanrio store. HOLLYWOOD IS FRAKING AWESOME!!!! We were like on the red carpet, having brunch. I stold a whole lotta crap like honey and stuff, so people were looking at me funny. We were eating scones when the celebs came. Jack Black came and I offered him a scone. XD he refused so I sorta nearly cursed at him. I called Angelina Jolie fat cause she didnt accept my scone either! SHE WAS FATTER IN PERSON. No offense. She has long eyelashes. I mean really friggin long ones. Then we all sang charlie the unicorn to dustin hoffman as he looked at us like we were crazy. Cause we were. We got into the theater and we ate popcorn. Rhen got popcorn with jalapeno juice on it, I got honey on mine (since I jacked a lot during the extravagant brunch), and Sammy had regular popcorn. It was awesome. We went sorta shopping after that. I wanted to go to Famina but i was tired. I got home and i was like OMIGEE. DUSTIN HOFFMAN'S signature. Now I hafta do my hw, ciao!

November 11, 2008 : No school. Gone over to melon's to work on project. SHORTEST POST EVER. Btw: Melon & Pineapple meeting= FAIL. xD

November 12, 2008: HOLEH CRAP. I GOT THE HIGHEST SCORE ON THE TEST. THE HIGHEST SCORE. THAT IS FRIGGIN AWESOME. AWESOMNESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahahaha. The run was a distaster. I get to run with the fast people starting next week. *groan* FRIGGIN FAST PEOPLE. Im aiming for the shirt and for no congestion problems.

November 13, 2008: Glue+stuff= FAIL. I dont like history or collages anymore.
I got a winter ball ticket today, though I have no one to go with so Im going to be like a total loner there. Its on analie's b-day. T.T I dont like them. Popular people get all the dates. I get nothing. Im running for queen or duchess or whatever. I dont care actually. I guess I'm just not caring. STUPID IDIOT MATT WAS JOKING AROUND WITH ASHTON AND THEY MADE ME SELf CONSCIOUS AND WANT TO CRY. I hate dem. Pft. Matt at the winter ball is like an elephant in a swimming pool, possible, but impossible. Ashton at the winter ball is reasonable. I got turned down so many times. Im going to cry during the winter ball.

November 14, 2008: I forgot about the beautification donations and we got 19 dollars in total. Me and Christine. Though I am still pissed at her. ARGH! jakdlsa;fd I dont like him anymore. I dont like the guy that I used to like because I used an emotional disconnect to sever my mind and it just blocked out that memory so I never have to deal with him or his face again. All the bus people got stuck there until like 5. Me, melon, and lets call her seraphina cause she sorta fits a seraphina title were there and then we noticed all the bus people. Me and analie talked for like a million years and stephanie and sean were there too. Rhen was there and so was Karrie and we all were like ... there until like 5. Rhen and Karrie and Stephanie left on the bus and Analie got left behind. Somehow it all worked out and I was just stuck there for like... a long time. Melon and Seraphina left like a long time agoes before this. After drink Kaname senpai's blood aka VITAMIN WATER. we kilt our picnic so yea...

THATSMY LIFE IN A SUMMARY BEEESHES. I will start posting after Matt and Ria get the flack off my blog. DAMN YOU ALL!
My hands are cramping from typing so mush. Damn. Go to melon's blog. Im there too!

I luff... no one.
-Vicki

Gyabo.

Its me deshta. If it doesnt work, blogger is being a b*tch as are many people.

mleh. Its my horseish laugh. >.<>

-Juliet- the immortal pineapple.

Again, Im sorry.

BUT I AM HAVING A MAJOOOR CRISIS THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS CAUSE ITS ALL IN MY HEAD! Maybe, maybe not. Because for this whole week, I have been on high alert for hints that the guy I like, or dont like, or I do like, or I DONT KNOW notices that i like or dont like like him. Does that make sense? Not really anymore, right? HOLEH CRAP!

I've been playing the whole scenario in my head for a whole week. I havent really talked to him for a whole week which is a MIRACLE because I normally would gravitate towards him, but for the last week we have made nearly no eye-contact which is good because eye-contact makes me squeamish and when Im squeamish, I do something stupid like say randomly blurt out "your eyes are pretty". O.O THIS IS WHY I DONT MAKE EYE CONTACT. The last time I made eye-contact, I nearly hugged him but instad i said "uh..erm...huh...AHAHAHA~" and i started laughing sorta maniatically and that was the worst and I said "why are you staring at me weirdo?" which was sorta the biggest mistake I could make. But I always do that when I have nothing to say or talk about, I blurt out stupid things or mean things. THATS WHY MY FRIENDS HATE ME. Even though I might hate them just a little bit... maybe, maybe not. I stumble on thoughts and words and I think I might be losing any sight of my brain right now.

Many people have questioned who this guy is and some have guessed right except I refuse to tell them because it is weird. ITS WEIRD! And because of the fact that I dont want anyone to tell me that "Vicki, you dont have a chance with him" or "Its mudane" which is OBVIOUS, like IN YOUR FACE OBVIOUS if you know who this guy is. I asked him to the winter ball and when he rejected me I went into a downward spiral of making it a joke and thats ruining my 1. self-esteem and 2. ego. And I have been the biggest joke since jokes were invented. Christine, Analie, Diana, Sammy, and even ASHTON knows but he whom I likes does not know BECAUSE HE IS CLUELESS OR THATS WHAT IM HOPING. Because if he isnt clueless then my blushing and stupidity will have gone to crap.

Again, back to the subject. Im sorry I didnt write anything for this so imma post my story (which I read in front of the WHOLE class including the guy I like who I sat near during the whole thing which made me even more squeamish and want to die). Its a halloween love story which I sorta based off of him, but i took the best qualities from all the dudes I know. I should start posting pictures of them. HE SAT RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I MEAN NOT REALLY, BUT IN MY MIND HE DID. IF RHEA READS THIS, I AM SCREWED. BY SCREWED I MEAN IM SCREWED SCREWED AND HE WILL KNOW, probably, BY MONDAY HE WILL KNOW! WHICH WOULD BE TOTALLY CRAP-ish. AGH. Did he notice it was about him? Did he notice that I was blushing when I read it? Did he notice I was staring at him about half the time? Agu! I hope he doesnt because this is beyond cheesy: its supposed to be a scary story too. ITS ME IF I EVER DIE OR HE EVER IS THAT 1. Romantic, 2. nice, 3. UNCLUESLESS i hope:

Their laughter still rings in my head today; their tinkering, childish laughter. “Maniacs, maniacs!” I proclaimed and they echoed back. The hellish tattoo of the twittering snickers that came from them drove me over the edge. Too much, it was too much. The gap before present and after past seemed too great to ever fill in with memories. The whole world spun like mad, but the moment before death and doom, it all came back.
It was a cold day in September when I met him. He had a smile that would charm anyone who would dare look at him, the brilliance of a million stars, the quick reactions of a puma, and an unammountable amount of intelligence to go with it. I was not impressed for this was material and material was not me. I had grown up learning of the wisdom of life before life had even begun and I had the talent of ignorance. This I used to ignore him and the large crowd that he often drew when walking around campus. He had been a smash hit since he had walked onto campus at the dewy dawn on this first day of school. I had been a failure since I had walked onto campus 15 minutes late and fell flat on my face the moment I had entered the classroom. I had a feeling that my high school life was not going to be easy.
I had taken so much precaution and so much preparation for this day and I had forsaken all my hard work the moment I had walked into class. Oh joy; how wonderful life is. I was the last one in and all the seats had been decided by alphabetical order and mine was right next to his. His seat being the seat of Tyler Adrian Carter. Tyler the radiant creature of whom I didn’t want to sit next to no matter what. As I walked down the aisle with my boots, which created a sound similar to that of a horse when trotting along the roads, I caught sight of menacing glances shot from throughout the room. I wished that the ground would swallow me up and never again let me experience this type of embarrassment. I sank into my chair and bade my life goodbye as I drifted into sleep. I woke up a few minutes later to the poking of my face. It seemed that Tyler had been poking me ever since class ended a minute ago.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Who, what now?” I replied in confusion. He merely smiled in response.
“Juliet?” he inquired.
“Me? How do you know my name?” I asked back.
“You’re funny,” he scoffed.
“Sure…” I said in as cool a tone as I could manage at that point. It was embarrassing enough to have fallen asleep during homeroom, but I was talking with Tyler and I will admit that I am not the type of person to actually be able to talk coherently to people.
“Crap, I gotta go. Class is gonna start. What do you have next?” he asked.
“I’ve got English,” I said in a bored tone.
“Let’s go then,” he said cheerfully as he dragged me around the hallway.
“What?” I said in a dazed tone while running after him as he pulled my arm.
“I’ve got the same thing,” he replied with his signature smile. I still wasn’t falling for it. At least I don’t think I was.
We compared our schedules. As it turned out, we had every class together. It was fate’s cruel way of playing with my mind. Why me of all people? I don’t really dislike him, as he was fun, easy to talk to, understanding, and a basically all around good person, but I guess I never knew that popular people could be this easy to talk to. I always used to stereotype them into a group. Next, we had to run to science, which was on the other side of the school. I was running down the stairs when I tripped and by chance, Tyler caught me. I couldn’t see anything as clear as it used to be.
“My glasses!” I exclaimed. I tried to leap out of his reach to grab them and continue on my way to science. But he grabbed my arm and in one graceful move, like the ones that you see in the movies, he twisted me into his arms. I blushed furiously.
“You look better without the glasses,” he said calmly as he smiled. I kept blushing and my mind went completely blank. I was dumbfounded.
“Wha…what?” I managed to stammer. He threw me out of his arms and I nearly tripped down the stairs again.
“Just teasing you,” he chuckled. I blushed even harder, if that was even possible. I fumbled down the stair well and grabbed my glasses.
“How mean!” I chirped in an accidentally higher pitched voice to him. I skittered towards the next class as I remembered the fact that we had all of our classes together. Damn it.
When we got to science, it seemed that he had forgotten about the whole incident and we were chatting normally and then they showed up. They, being the girls with the worst personalities that had ever existed; Chloe and Haley, the twins.
“Hiii…My name is Chloe and this is Haley. What’s your name?” Chloe said as girly and seductively as she could manage.
“Tyler,” he bluntly replied. After a few minutes of whispering to each other, the twins had noticed me, dorky, glasses wearing, and plain- looking me.
“Who are you?” asked Haley in genuine sarcasm. A lot of things ran through my mind at that moment, but the most imminent thought was that I had to stand up for myself or I would be bullied unconditionally. That is what happens in high school. Eat or be eaten.
“My name is Juliet,” was all I could say.
“What kind of a name is that?” they asked in perfect synchronization. They were like birds, birds that would not shut up. I just didn’t respond.
“Where is your Romeo? I bet you’re never going to get one. Not in that outfit and not with that hair,” teased Chloe.
“Ha!” Haley laughed, “It’s like hideous!”
“Whatever,” I said nonchalantly. I wanted to smack them in the face. At least show some courtesy.
“Stop it,” Tyler said, agitated. Lifesaver! Haley and Chloe pulled me aside.
“Let us get this straight, we don’t like you and we’ll do whatever it takes to make your life miserable,” they said in perfect sync again.
“Why the hell would you want to do that?” I asked with a straight face. I was actually biting my lip too to hold back all the cursing that I wanted to do at them.
“Because, it’s fun~” they chirped. What the hell?
The whole day went by quickly. It was fun just talking to Tyler and his friends from middle school. Soon, I realized that I hadn’t really made any real friends besides Tyler and his friends. We all exchanged emails. The rest of the day was full of laughter and excitement. In the blink of an eye, it was time for me to go home. Tyler offered to walk me home, but I refused his offer.
As I went home, I reviewed the memories that I had made today. I giggled for a while and I stopped two seconds later when I realized how weird I looked taking the railway home. Maybe I did like him, I liked him a bit. When I got home, I checked my email and to my surprise, Tyler had emailed me with a bunch of inside jokes that we had made the whole day.
I smiled and I wished I could’ve seen his smile, but that would have to wait until tomorrow. The days that I spent tagging along with him seemed short in comparison to the days before them. I began to notice how elegant and classically charming he was, like a prince on his way to a castle. I just wished I could be his princess. He wore a blue striped polo shirt the next time that I saw him. He was always in jeans or capris that made him look ruggedly handsome. His hair was always tousled and it seemed untamed and that was part of his charm I guess. His hands were so much bigger than mines and his nails were never dirty or even scratched. His eyes seemed to pierce through your head and see your thoughts. They shimmered with everlasting light when he walked in the sun, and when he walked in the sun he was Apollo. He was the definition of a prince. That was why he was the center of attention most of the time. But his looks were only the tip of the iceberg. He was a poet who wrote odes to nature, he was a songwriter who wrote songs with his guitar, he was as athletic as the guys on out football team (though he refused to join, knowing that he might neglect his friends afterwards), he was more intelligent than the rest of us for his mind seemed as quick as an eagle’s. He didn’t seem real, human, or existent. The possibility was impossible. I was falling for him and I was falling hard. I wondered if my heart would continue beating for him. I liked him and that was all I knew.
But I could never tell him, for if I told him, I might have ruined the delicate friendship between us. I had made new friends with his old ones. Mark, Ethan, and Andrew were so funny and they were adorable in the little brother kind of way. Time went by and everyday I got to know all of them even more. Mark was athletic. He was on the lacrosse team and he played soccer. I came along one day to watch him play with his friends at lunch. He zipped across the field faster than anyone I had ever seen. It sort of looked like he was floating on air as he stretched his leg back and kicked the ball into the goal. I was still in awe when the bell rung. He was loved by everyone for his undying spirit and his ability to make someone smile.
Andrew was shy. His look seemed so innocent that everyone went “awww...” when he walked past them with a smile. Andrew was the type of person who would wear a plaid vest over a dress shirt and the type of guy you would see studying in the library. His eyes were a murky green and his hair a dark brown. I wanted to hug him every time I saw him. He was like a cuddly teddy bear or the cute little brother I never had. He had red glasses which enhanced the green-ness of his eyes. He was smart and well-liked by the teachers automatically. He never liked to be the teacher’s pet, but he had no choice. He was born like this; gifted and cute.
Ethan was the one who got all the girls. He, unlike Tyler, tried to get everyone to like him. He seemed like he had roses surrounding him all of the time. He jokingly tried to flirt with me but I never got the memo. I was always out of it and I never really paid attention to him. He kept a couple of roses in his backpack to give to girls that he hung around with. I thought that this was a really material reason for using roses, but later I discover his love of gardening. He was a nice guy... maybe. He was the type to make perverted jokes every two minutes which induced my choking one day at lunch. I had backed up into a wall when I tripped over a chair and fell unconscious.
I woke up about 10 minutes later to find to my surprise that Ethan was hovering over me in a bed in the nurse’s office. The shock of the sight of his face being so overwhelmingly close to mine made me sit up quickly. I got up so quick that my face accidentally knocked into his face causing me to experience my first kiss and Ethan to experience a slap in the face.
“What did you do that for?” he asked, quite annoyed I might add.
“You… you… YOU STOLE MY FIRST KISS!” I screamed. This was horrible. Of all people, it had to be Ethan. I thought it might have been someone else like say… Tyler. But no, I had to get up that quickly and I had to have bumped into his face. Why was it me? Why not one of the other girls that he flirts with? WHY ME?!
“It was your fault bumping into me!” he exclaimed as he jumped up.
“It was your fault for being there!” I yelled back.
“It was your fault for fainting,” he said as he did an imitation of me falling to the ground.
“I…It was an accident and it was because you were making me laugh!” I shouted.
“Is making people laugh a crime now?” he asked sarcastically.
“It is if you almost make them choke to death!” I screamed.
“My first kiss lost to an idiot,” he muttered.
“Well, well it was mine too!” I stammered. I had always thought of Ethan as the type of person to be…you know. I guess I was wrong. This time I was way off. We started arguing after a few minutes when the nurse came in.
“My, my. Having a lover’s quarrel are we?” she said teasingly. Ms. Carol was the type of person who seemed like she was permanently 21. She had red hair and dark brown eyes which made you feel as if you could trust her.
“We are not!” we both exclaimed at the same time. We looked at each other and we both turned away.
“I’m fine now so I’m going back to class,” I said quietly.
“What a nerd,” Ethan muttered as I walked out of the room as quickly as I could, hoping that he wouldn’t follow me. My first kiss, stolen by an idiot.
The next day I told Andrew and Mark what happened and to my surprise, they didn’t show any surprise. They just shifted uncomfortably on the grass that we were sitting on outside. I glared at both of them and I grabbed them by the collar.
“Tell me everything, now!” I growled menacingly. Mark shot Andrew one of those don’t do it looks and he shot Mark a she’s going to kill me eventually look. I stared at them while they exchanged glances and finally Mark gave up and Andrew started talking.
“Mark, Tyler, Ethan, and I have been friends since the third grade. We were almost the same as we are today. Mark was the champion of dodge ball, Tyler was the unwilling center of attention, and I was the one who was pinched so much to the point that I think that I’ve developed wrinkles. Ethan was lost back then. He never really had anything he was good at. Tyler had taken the spotlight, Mark was always quicker than us, and I was a squish able nerd if that’s what you’d call it. Ethan never really had a place and it stayed that way until 7th grade when he made up his mind that he was going to charm everyone. He wanted something to be good at. Up till’ then, he was the normal kid who had nothing special. In 7th grade, he changed his look, his personality, and he became more like he is today. But to us he is the same, lost, little Ethan. Everything he is to everyone else is fake, so we’re not surprised that he got mad or that he was watching over you. He was probably worried and he gets all defensive when someone argues with him because he’s just being…Ethan,” Andrew explained.
“He could have just said so in the first place!” I said furiously.
“Juliet, if you haven’t noticed yet, guys don’t really like showing their emotions,” said Mark plainly.
“Oh…right,” I replied. It was hard to remember that these were guys and I was a girl. I probably didn’t understand, or rather didn’t want to understand, what was going through their brains. It was fine though, at least I had friends.
After a week, word had spread to Tyler, Tyler the now furious. For some reason, his cheeks were red when he questioned me about what happened with Ethan the other day. He was never red in his face, not ever. He was always, cool, calm, and collected.
“What did he do to you?” he asked in a deeper tone than his usual voice. He was seriously this time, dead serious. “What did he do to you?” he repeated.
“Nothing, absotively nothing at all,” I said. And with perfect timing, Ethan showed up and put his arms around the both of us and greeted us with a smile and kissing sounds at me. Great; he had to joke about that. I was just about to slap his face again, but Tyler beat me to the punch, literally. His fist landed right on the side of his face.
“Ouch! What was that for?” he asked again for the second time that week.
“What did you do to Juliet?” Tyler asked menacingly.
“Nothing. I just…” Ethan trailed off and that was deserving of another punch. This is why I don’t understand guys. They fight with such brutality, like it’s a matter of kill or be killed. This had to stop before someone gets sent to the hospital. I jumped in front of Ethan as Tyler fist stopped less than an inch in front of my face.
“It’s not his fault. I was sent to the nurse’s office when I fainted and I sat up and…” I said and I muttered the rest of the story. Tyler’s face took on a gentler look and he started laughing. Ethan started laughing too and I stared at them like they were crazy.
“Was that it? Just a kiss?” asked Tyler jokingly.
“It was my first one and my most important one!” I childishly shouted in response. It was suppose to be the one that Tyler was supposed to give me, but I couldn’t tell him that. I pouted and sat down to mope. Tyler pulled me up by my hand; not more pulled than drew. He swept me into his arms. Somehow this seemed familiar.
“Would this make it better?” he asked. He kissed me. My second kiss, stolen insincerely. I pushed him away from me. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way! This was supposed to happen like a sunset-fairytale.
“Stupid Tyler!” I yelled as I ran back inside. It was supposed to be sweet and unforgettable, but I wished that I could forget it this very second and run away as fast as I could.
When I got home, I got an apology email from Tyler. I immediately threw it into the trash, but I decided to keep it and read what it said.
“ Juliet, I’m sorry about today and making that big scene in front of everyone and about kissing you and all. Would you forgive me?” said the text. My heart was warmed. The world was at peace again, until tomorrow.
The twins just had to add to my horrible week. Their screeching and idiocy just couldn’t be contained. When I walked into science, I tripped over their feet, decorated with shoes that probably cost 100 times the money that it would to buy my shoes because their shoes were all originals from the designers themselves. I mean, they’re just shoes! I got up again and I went to my seat.
Class started and Mr. Eisner was chattering away while we were busy taking notes to match the speed of his monotonously deadly tone. This was the one of the most boring classes that we had to take. We usually daydreamed while he spoke and occasionally doodled on our papers. Chloe passed me a note and just as I was about to throw it away, Mr. Eisner came and snatched the note looking extremely scary. He wrote a note inside that notebook of citation he has for all of us. I didn’t really care because this was my first citation in his class while everyone has had at least five. He continued on his ramblings and I looked unaffected by what happened, much to the disappointment of Haley and Chloe. Tyler high-fived me in an awkward way and I smiled to acknowledge that we were back to being friends again.
Tomorrow was going to be Halloween and that meant that it was my birthday. Two months had passed since I had first met Tyler, though it seemed like more had passed. I wondered what he was going to wear since I had forgotten to question him yesterday. I was going to wear a doll-like outfit. I loved dressing up for Halloween ever since I was a little girl. I hoped that tomorrow I would finally be able to live the fairytale that I dreamed of in my little princess dress in the 3rd grade. Little did I know that tomorrow would be the end.
I woke up to a normal morning to the birds that sing to me every day. I showered, got dressed into my doll-like costume, ran downstairs, ate breakfast, and I got to railway. I traveled to school, not knowing of the awaiting peril. It was supposed to be another ordinary, ordinary day. The beating of my heart drew faster as I entered the front gates. It was a sunny day, the sky was blue, a cloudy blue, but still slightly blue. The trees were filled with the scent of October and the happiness and joy of Halloween. I skipped towards Tyler in his Romeo impersonation costume, which I didn’t know whether to take as a joke or possibly flattery, Mark in his zombie costume, Andrew in his bat costume, which was extremely cute on him; as cute as a button and Ethan in his girl costume. Ethan had a dress on with lipstick and everything. I would have laughed my head off if it were not for the distance. They were staring at me wide-eyed from the front steps.
Everyone was waving maniactically. I waved back thinking that this was just a friendly wave like they had always sent me. I had not seen the man behind me. There was the unmistakable sound of gunfire. Suddenly, my chest felt warm and my shirt had been stained crimson. I looked up at Tyler, but everything was fading so fast. He ran in slow motion and I was falling. When I regained some consciousness, I found myself lying in his arms. I was dying.
“I’m sorry…”he sobbed; “I couldn’t …” He broke into tears.
“Its fine,” I gasped. This couldn’t be. I was dying.
“Happy Birthday… Juliet,” he said his voice thick and choked.
“Thank you…” I whispered. There wasn’t much time left. It was getting harder to breathe. “You know… I’ve always wanted to tell you … something.”
“What is it?” he asked.
“I love you,” I choked out. It was almost time to go. I was tired.
“I love you too,” he said. He burst into tears.
“I want just one thing for my birthday present…” I gasped.
“I’ll give you anything, the world if you want…” he cried.
“I want to see your smile before I go,” I whispered to him, “Just smile and I’ll be the happiest girl in the world.”
“What are you talking about,” he said in a pained smile, “You’re dying on your birthday.”
“Yea, but I still have you,” I whispered as I reached out for his hand. “Goodbye Tyler. Don’t forget me.”
“I won’t,” he said through smiling tears. And I left as he kissed my dead body and there was peace. My third kiss was for my dead corpse. A true Juliet to his Romeo.
But the peace did not last very long. I was back a few weeks later. I was rejected from the afterlife because of my desire to see Tyler one last time. My love for him was enough to break the bonds of death. I was a ghost now; a shadowy imprint on the world I had once inhabited. I didn’t have the energy to really do anything except wander around.
I went back to the school, only to find that another, prettier girl had filled my seat and Tyler was laughing with her. It couldn’t be helped right? I had died anyways, but then I saw Andrew, Mark, and Ethan. Ethan seemed depressed along with Andrew whereas Mark was laughing with the new girl. I soon learned her name was Lillia. Lillia was such a pretty girl and she seemed quite nice too. I thought I had left them in the hands of a good person. I thought so until I saw her talking and laughing with the twins?
“I mean, you don’t have to feel bad for her,” Chloe said, “It was her own fault for coming to school at the time.”
“But don’t you feel sorry for her like a little?” asked Lillia.
“Nah,” they said in chorus. They still laughed like birds.
“Now we get a chance at Tyler,” scoffed Chloe, “Without that dork always around him, we can finally get him.”
“Chyeah!” squealed Haley as she high-fived her sister.
“What about me? I’ve probably got a better chance than both of you combined!” she said pride fully.
“It’s eat or be eaten!” Haley squealed followed by insane laughter. Their laughter was unbearable. I floated out of the room and I waited until after school to follow Tyler. I felt like a stalker, but it seemed okay until I saw him and Lillia making out behind the bleachers. That made me snap. Their twittering chatter and their laughs. Guffaw, guffaw! Their hypocritical giggles drove me over the edge. Tyler had been so sincere, it was only a few weeks after my death and he was already moving on? I hated him and the twins and society to the point where I wanted it all to end. I wanted them to see how dying felt like.
And Lillia… she was just annoying. I hated her, I hated her! The sounds rang in my ears and resonated off my mind. Just because I was dead didn’t mean that I could be treated like this after I had died. She had no right. He was my Tyler! Mine, not hers, mine. She couldn’t have taken him in a heartbeat, she couldn’t have! I wanted to strangle her; I wanted to make her pay. I wanted to make them all pay. Tyler was supposed to be sincere. What did he do after my death? He left, left to another prettier girl. I could never be replaced, could I? No, never, never. I had to do something. I hated them, hated them, hated them! All of that hate just pushed me past the border of sanity.
I followed Lillia until she was alone and I whispered into her ear, “I hate you. He was mine, mine! You have no right, no reason, no obligation to take my precious Tyler away from me. Give him back,” I hissed.
“I must be hearing things,” she muttered to herself.
“But you aren’t dearie, this is real,” I giggled into her ear.
“But you’re supposed to be dead!” she shrieked in mortal terror as her face turned pale.
“Oh, sure and you’re also supposed to live, but I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen today. You have taken something away from me and now is the time to compensate. You owe me something and I will accept your life as payment,” I said as a grin spread across my face and my conscience began to fade. All I had left was this empty void, and empty void that could be filled with vengeance. I stabbed her with a rusty sharpened ruler and dragged her body to the art room in the school and burnt her remains in the kiln. It felt nice to get revenge, but there was more to be taken care of.
I had to kill Tyler too. When Tyler was alone, I grabbed him by the neck and asked him, “Do you want to die today? Would you like to see how it feels to die?”
“Juliet! What are you doing?!” he yelled shakily.
“You have something I want,” I said.
“I’ll give you anything!” he screamed.
“I want your soul. I want vengeance. You didn’t love me! It was a lie. It was all a big scheme. From the first moment, it was a great scheme. I’m not stupid; I can figure things out too!” I hissed.
“I’m sorry,” he said and those were his last words. I slit his throat and watched as he cried and he managed a smile. Insincerity, insincerity. Alas, Tyler was dead. Killing was fun so I went after the twins next and I hung them both from the basement. They would never find out that I did it. I was dead! I would never have to worry about this again. I started killing left and right. Cutting and slashing and hanging were so fun. I loved it. I needed more vengeance, more revenge. I couldn’t live without it. Tyler was dead, so why did I feel so empty? Why did I feel like that I needed revenge on everyone else? Why? I killed Tyler, Tyler the sweet, charming, and friendly. Tyler was dead, stone dead and there was nothing I could do about it. I had killed him. I could still make out his smile out of the memories that I held. He was dead, he broke my heart, and it was all fine, right? He had made a mockery out of my death. He had taken my life for granted. Justice was served. Tyler’s smile had disappeared. Life had ended and torture had begun.
Suddenly, I was in a dark room. It was cold and silent, like the tears that I shed at that very moment. Why? Tyler is lost forever. I need more souls to fill this void. I need a new person to hold onto. I need to friends and a new life. Give me my Tyler back, give me my Tyler back! I can’t turn back the time.I felt so alone then. There was no one there. Just an empty space as wide and as vast as the hold left in my heart.I walked alone in that dark place for a while until I came about two voices.
“We will cut you a deal,” they said in unison, “We will free his soul from the afterlife into your world again if you collect souls for us for eternity.”
“Eternity?” I asked. I would have to do this forever?
“Yes, sign the contract and we will let your little friend live,” they said in chorus again. Tyler should have lived on. It was my fault, all my fault. I have to take responsibility, for eternity, I must. His smile would last forever in my mind and it shall make an impression forever in the world. But was this truly my fault? No, it was society that drove me to this. It was instinct, it was so many things. It was hate and love and betrayal. It was everything. I hated everything and I loved Tyler. Before I knew it, I had pricked my finger and signed the contract, for eternity. I blame you, I love you, I hate you.
“You will now live as a human, but you can never speak to anyone you knew in your previous life ever again. You have signed the contract and the deed has been done,” they said in sync. Forever…
I took it upon myself to take the souls you have away. I will take revenge against you someday. My unquenched thirst for blood shall remain that way until my debt is paid. My love lost is now in life and I must pay for it. This shall bind me for eternity, for your life, for millennia to come. Pitiful souls in the shadows tied into the darkness in your hearts, looking down unto people and hurting them, a soul drowned in pitiful karma. Would you like to try dying once?